The Melting Pot: Ling Dai

“My husband and I believe food makes people happy … we’re not fancy – that’s for sure – but we’re real.”

Ling Dai is one who wears her heart on her sleeve. You can hear it in her voice, you can see it in her eyes. And if you’ve witnessed her holding court at her family restaurant, you can attest to just how much of a people person she truly is.

“In St. Louis, I feel the love,” she said. “People here are way nice. They make me feel like every day is a good day.”

If you ask her what she does, her answer reveals her personality: “My husband owns the restaurant; I own my husband.”

She and her husband, Bill, have been married for almost 10 years, and are parents to 8-year-old Rex. Bill opened the popular dim sum spot, Wonton King, in the 1980s when his family moved to St. Louis from Saigon. Dai first met Bill at the restaurant, when she was in her mid-20s and new to St. Louis from Shanghai.

“I was eating (at Wonton King) when I first met him. We started as just friends – he was 18 years older than me,” she recalled.

Besides, there were other priorities; among them, finding work.

“I didn’t really know what I was doing. I never really worked before – I didn’t even go to college,” she said, adding that shortly after meeting him, Bill offered her a job at his restaurant. “I worked for him for a couple of months, then I started working at a sushi restaurant.”

That’s when Dai said she began to learn the ins and outs of the restaurant business.

“The first couple of months were very hard for me,” she said. “I had to learn the American culture. Someone had asked, ‘Do Chinese people take showers?’ I really had to prove myself. I spent a month, remembering the menu, all the ingredients … I found a way to make it work.”

And make it work, she did! After several years of waiting tables, Dai said she’d hear from customers who began to take notice of her undeniable flair.

“Some of my customers even put me on Google (reviews)!” she said. “My co-workers at the time thought I was weird for talking to customers, but I’m a human being, not a robot. You may be a CEO, and I may just be a waitress, and while you may have a better job and a bigger house, we all sleep in one bed at night. Nothing should stop you from being kind.”

At the same time, Dai was also looking to begin anew following a failed marriage.

“I was married once. My ex was hitting me,” she said. “A lot of Asians feel shame about divorce, but I was lucky because I spoke up – I’m proud of myself.”

For about eight years, Dai’s focus was on work and building a new life in St. Louis, a life that Bill, apparently, wanted to make sure he became a part of.

“About 11 years ago, I went to a club and saw him, and I jokingly told him, ‘You’re too old for this!’ I thought he was boring, and he looked like a married man. He bought me a drink and said to me, ‘It’s good to know you can drink, too,’” she said, while laughing. “It’s so funny. We met each other everywhere. I asked him, ‘Are you stalking me?’”

It didn’t take long for Bill, who had been divorced for several years, to reveal his intentions.

“When we started dating, he really became family. He was like my sugar daddy, my big brother, my lover, my everything,” Dai said. “It felt quick. He talked to my mom first – he’s smart! He really loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I felt very safe and very secure.”

Dai said it was a relationship built without pretense, a strength she believes extends to the way they conduct business at their restaurant, Wonton King, which is known for its Hong Kong-style offerings.

“Hong Kong-style is less spicy, less oily than what typical Chinese cuisine is, but it’s definitely not lacking in flavor,” she explained. “For instance, you taste the freshness of the fish and the simplicity of the vegetables – just the soothing, good flavor of real food.”

Despite its relatively small dining space, Wonton King enjoys consistently rave reviews from diners and industry insiders alike—so much so that there’s talk of expansion in the not-too-distant future.

“We might be having a second location a little more west of here,” Dai said. “The style might be a bit different, but I guarantee everything will be fabulous.”

It’s hard to fathom how the couple, whose existing restaurant is open every day, will find the time to devote to a second eatery. But just like the good chi that Dai summons with the jade that adorns her almost daily, things have a way of falling into place.

“Jade brings you luck – who doesn’t want good luck? You feel the balance – I believe it,” she said. “My husband and I also believe food makes people happy. My husband, who’s the trained chef, created all the recipes. It makes him happy, in the same way serving people makes me happy. We’re not fancy – that’s for sure – but we’re real.”

The Melting Pot: Thuy Nguyen